


BEST THING

by charito_ (ChickenNoodles)



Series: Series of ITZY One Shot Stories (Compilation) [1]
Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I promise to write more fluff as much as I write angst, Light Angst, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please don't hate me for writing so much angst, Romantic Fluff, Tragic Romance, please don't come after me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:00:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28431300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenNoodles/pseuds/charito_
Summary: She thought Yeji would understand her always. Yeji loves her, right?Wrong.Ryujin was wrong on one part.
Relationships: Choi Jisu | Lia/Hwang Yeji, Choi Jisu | Lia/Lee Chaeryeong, Choi Jisu | Lia/Shin Ryujin, Hwang Yeji/Lee Chaeryeong, Hwang Yeji/Shin Ryujin, Lee Chaeryeong/Shin Ryujin, Lee Chaeryeong/Shin Yuna, Shin Ryujin/Shin Yuna
Series: Series of ITZY One Shot Stories (Compilation) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082498
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	BEST THING

**Author's Note:**

> Ryeji One Shot AU

She has lost count on how many months it has been, she lost count on how many bottles she already took, she lost track of time, wondering what day it has been. She doesn't need to check the time on her phone as she knew how cold 2:00 AM was, how the cold breeze enters the open window of her room and how the curtains softly dance to it.

As the stars blinks endlessly, she watches how the day turns into night, how the bright sky turns into dark, she watches herself as she slowly fall into chaos, and she watches herself as she slowly realized she already lost.

She lost.

She lost the love of her life.

Ryujin lost _her_.

Every time she stares at the dark night sky, the stars that looks down upon Ryujin, it reminds her of the person she once loved.

Wait. No.

It’s that, Ryujin always loves her.

The stars reminded her of how gorgeous her lover's eyes was, how they shine whenever she smiles, how her eyes watch Ryujin when she laughs ..... how her eyes were once full of love.

Ryujin tore her gaze from the stars as she realized that tears were slowly pacing down her cheeks. She used the back of her hand to wipe them and sat up and ran a hand through her hair.

"Damn it," she whispers. An exasperated breath escaped her lips as she shuts her eyes completely. "How many months it has been, Ryujin?!" She asks herself, slowly becoming frustrated, at herself.

She stood up from her bed, walked over the kitchen of her small apartment. She couldn't remember when was the last time she cleaned her apartment, because by the looks of it, it was a total mess. Stains from spilled beer and alcohol marked the wooden floor, unfinished bag of chips were left open, untouched and opened cups of noodles can be spotted from every corner of her small home.

It was a mess.

She was a mess.

As she opens the fridge to grab a can of beer, her eyes wandered the insides, hoping that every time she opens it, a decent meal would appear. As if she's not used to it, the only time she would refill her stocks is when she realized her fridge and food cabinets are empty. And she would refill them with the same contents like last time.

She takes two cans of beer, bringing them back to her bed and opens the first can. The sound of it made her to pause from her tracks. Her eyebrows furrowed intensely when she heard people below her apartment laughing and giggling.

**_Can we go back to the days our love was strong?_ **

_"Babe, I got in!" Ryujin exclaimed happily as she shows Yeji a piece of paper saying she got accepted in her dream university._

_They share an apartment together, deciding to live together when they both reach college._

_"That's great!" Yeji replies back. "You know, I think we should celebrate." She says and runs towards the fridge, takes two cans of beer—they both liked that beer. And gave it Ryujin._

_"To my girlfriend who got accepted on her dream university!" Yeji exclaims and collides her beer with Ryujin's._

_"To my supportive and loving girlfriend. Cheers!" The younger girl happily cheers._

_"I love you." Ryujin adds._

"Fucking hell," she curses under breath and gulps the can of beer in one go. The sensation in her throat caused by the beer made her to shut her eyes once more. The beer that they once both liked, now tastes bitter—more bitter than the usual. As memories of their drinking moments together flashed at the back of her mind.

Ryujin remembers how sweet Yeji's smile was, how loving was the sound of her laugh, how her eyes disappear when she smiles, how painful it was to remember those memories when she drinks.

How painful it was to regret that she once became a jerk.

Two years into living together, Ryujin was on her sophomore year while Yeji was on her Junior year in college, it wasn't easy. Nothing was easy. They both lost time for each other due to their extracurricular activities, and the only time they shared time together? When a misunderstanding escalates and then turns into a fight.

What's worse?

Ryujin became something she never expected.

And it was one of her greatest regrets.

Yeji's the one who always adjusts and understands the situation. Even if the other party was at fault, she would lay down her defenses and apologize.

That's how kind Yeji was. That's how understanding Yeji was.

That's how precious she was.

But Ryujin took advantage of it and abused it. She thought Yeji would understand her always. Yeji loves her, right?

Wrong.

Ryujin was wrong on one part.

**_Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?_ **

_"God fucking damn it, Yeji! Can you shut up for once?!" Ryujin raises her voice to Yeji. The older one just wanted to know if Ryujin already ate so she could cook for her. Ryujin got home late from university, and she's dead tired because of her extracurricular activities._

_"Okay." Yeji timidly answers._

_Later, when Ryujin decided to call it a day, Yeji mustered up courage and talked to her partner._

_"Babe," she calls. Ryujin was already in bed, but she turns her head to see Yeji, who was standing by the door._

_"I'm sorry," Yeji pauses."I'm sorry for making you mad a while back." She continues. It pains her that Ryujin just turns her back on her and pulls the covers up to her neck and just said "good night" without even looking at her._

_She can't help it. Her tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. How can her sweet and caring girlfriend turned into someone she doesn't know? She couldn't even tell if the woman sleeping on their bed was even Ryujin or was it someone that's already sick and tired of her._

_How their love can suddenly went so bitter?_

_She wipes her tears quickly and fixes herself before joining Ryujin on the bed. She slowly leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Ryujin's head._

_"I love you." She whispers._

She was wrong on the part that Yeji would _always_ understand her. Yes, Yeji loves her, and that's on always. But even precious beings have their limits, after all, they're just humans who wants to love and wants to be loved.

And Yeji had enough.

_"Babe," Ryujin cries. "Please don't leave me." She grabs Yeji's arms as she tries to stop the older one to reach the door and eventually leave._

_"Don't fucking touch me, Ryujin." Yeji coldly says as she tries to swat her arms from Ryujin's grasp._

_Three and half years into their relationship, she thought it was for the best. She endured and spent a whole year and a half of loving someone whom she thought Ryujin was._

_And that's the only regret she has._

_"Babe," Ryujin pleads, almost kneeling to the floor._

_Yeji turns and faces Ryujin. "Don't even call me that!"_

_It stung. Ryujin's ears stung when she heard those statement from Yeji._

_"I-I'm s-sorry." Ryujin cries even harder. She gave up on grasping Yeji's arms and just knelt on the floor, praying to whatever gods may exist that they won't let Yeji leave her side._

_"For a year a half, I never heard those words from you." Yeji hissed, looking down at a crying mess who was kneeling on the floor. "Not even once." She adds, with more hatred and pain._

_"I'm r-really sorry." Ryujin says, hands balled into fists and was resting on her lap. Tears of regret and pain flows down on Ryujin's face. "I l-love you, please d-don't go."_

_Ryujin's 'I love you' tasted bitter, it tasted bad. If it was a candy or a food, Yeji would definitely spit it out._

_"You don't know how many times I've told you those words in a span of a year and half," Yeji paused. Biting her lower lip to prevent herself from crying. "Now that you've said it, I am no longer capable of saying those words to you."_

_With the only courage she had left in her, she turned her back and slammed the door behind her. When she could only hear Ryujin's cries from the inside, she let her tears do the same._

Chaeryeong visited Ryujin after she spent and wasted another four months. Her apartment finally had a breather. Chaeryeong helped her in cleaning up her small home, and also helped her in starting again. Finding her own self once again and putting priorities first.

"I know you're nervous, but you're not getting anywhere if you'll waste this opportunity I made for you." Chaeryeong whispered to her friend as they both stare at a woman seated inside a café across the street.

Chaeryeong was persistent in convincing Yeji to meet up with Ryujin, just to clear things up and have a proper closure. For almost a year and a half, Chaeryeong did that.

Ryujin breathed. Deep and hard.

What if she loses it? What if she breaks into tears when she finally got the talk to Yeji? What if there's no longer a chance to work things out again?

It scares her.

Ryujin silently prayed to any saint available as the heels of her shoes clicked on the pavement. God, please help her, or better yet, save her.

She wants to be saved from this excruciating pain that grows on her chest as she slowly comes near to the café. She wants to relieve the pain she is feeling, she wanted to feel love again.

Love from Yeji.

Love from the woman she loved the most.

**_Can somebody tell me how to get things back the way they used to be?_ **

_"For fuck's sake, Ryujin! You're killing yourself!" Chaeryeong exclaims in frustration. She decided to pay a visit to Ryujin and to check on her condition after her break up with Yeji. Ryujin was in the worst state and it was Chaeryeong’s mad about._

_Ryujin was a total wreck. As far as Chaeryeong can guess, Ryujin haven't left her room for weeks after Yeji left her. Chaeryeong can smell her and she guesses she haven't took a shower within those weeks. Ryujin's room was in chaos, her study table was no longer a study table, and it was full of can of beers and bottles of alcohol. Papers, books, vases, pencils, pens, and even shattered glass was scattered on the floor. Her room emitted an awful smell and one can't even tell if it’s a room anymore._

_Ryujin was just sitting at the corner of her bed, hiding from the sunlight from her windows. Dark circles were under her eyes, an obvious feat that she didn't had sleep for weeks. Chaeryeong scanned her room even further. On the desk, Ryujin's laptop sat. It was flashing a white screen and Chaeryeong approached and take a look on it._

_An email from Ryujin's boss, she got fired from her work._

_The advantage of getting on her dream university is that she's guaranteed that after graduating, a job was already waiting._

_But she blew it up and got fired._

_"God, Ryujin! You got fired from work?!" Chaeryeong's frustration and anger grew. "How will you get your life back to normal?! You're ruini_ — _"_

_A loud sound from a glass breaking interrupted Chaeryeong, to her fright, her eyes darted towards Ryujin and saw the bottle of alcohol turned into shattered glass on the floor._

_"Bullshit, Chaeryeong! What's there to live for?!" Ryujin yelled._

_She never saw how Ryujin's condition was not until she stepped into the sunlight. Chaeryeong saw how Ryujin lost weight, the dark circles under her eyes were even darker than she thought and her eyes, Ryujin's eyes could barely open themselves. She's been crying nonstop for weeks._

_"Fuck it, Ryujin!_ She _doesn't revolve around you!" Chaeryeong exclaimed. "Don't be such a fool than you already are! You did this to yourself, don't forget that. If you weren't such a jerk then we both know that you'll still be living the best times of your life!" She added, trying not to match Ryujin's madness._

_Ryujin knew. It was on her. Everything was on her._

_How can she get back on her feet and make things the way they are before if she's hopeless and lost?_

"Hi." Ryujin greeted, trying not to choke on her own breath. 

After a year and a half, she was finally able to see Yeji again. Her heart was happy, pounding on her ribcage as if it is a wild animal. She bit her lower lip to prevent herself from smiling. 

"Hi," Yeji greets back with a warm smile. 

_Ah, that smile._ Ryujin thought as she sat down. After all that time of not being able to see Yeji, nothing changed. 

_She's still beautiful as the day I met her._ Ryujin said to herself. 

It was an awkward silence that followed their greeting, both of them couldn't look directly at each other’s eyes. If Chaeryeong could see her situation right now, she'd probably scold her for not striking a conversation with Yeji. 

But what took Ryujin by surprise was something she was not expecting on Yeji's fingers. Her heart throb, the more she stares into it, the more it aches. She knew, that from the very start, the purpose of this meet up was to have a proper closure with each other. 

"Y-You're ...?" Ryujin says and eventually trails as she doesn't know what to say next. Yeji seemed to notice what Ryujin was pointing and laughed softly at how she misunderstood the ring on her finger. 

"Ah no, no," Yeji smiles. "It’s just a promise ring, I'm not yet engaged." 

She can't understand why, but Ryujin felt relieved at some point. Another awkward silence filled their table. Thankfully, the waitress came with their order and broke the silence. 

"I, uh, ordered beforehand because I don't know what time you'll exactly arrive." Yeji says in an apologetic manner. Ryujin responded with a hand gesture saying it was okay. 

"I'm sorry."

"How are you?"

Both of them said it at the same time. Ryujin wanted to apologize, and now that both of them spoke at the same time made her to feel shy and embarrassed. 

"I see that you're happy with someone." She said instead. What a rip off. 

Hearing those words from Ryujin, Yeji unconsciously caresses the ring on her finger. 

"I am." She shortly replied. "She makes me happy." Her smile from before was even wider now. 

Seeing a wider smile on Yeji's lips made Ryujin think that maybe, she deserves a better partner than her. After all, she was something she wasn't expecting to become. And that made her lose Yeji, for good. 

So she forced a smile, even if it hurts her, Ryujin has to smile. 

"I'm sorry." Ryujin says, the forced smile disappearing from her lips. Saying those words again after a long time cracks her heart. 

"I'm really sorry." She continues. "You were the best thing that happened in my life and yet I messed up. I'm really really sorry." She bows her head to hide the tears from running down her cheeks. She's in a vulnerable state whenever Yeji's around. 

Yeji is her weakness. 

"Indeed you messed up," Yeji says. "But I think that's for the better," she pauses. Ryujin shot her head up, this time, managing to look back to Yeji's eyes.

"For you to become a better person." She added and then smiles. 

Ryujin took a one big gulp, swallowing whatever there is that's stuck on her throat. Guilt? Frustration? Regrets? Gratitude? Whatever that is, it was hard to take in. 

God knows how much Ryujin loves her, that's why Yeji deserves more, more than she could possible give. Ryujin was on the verge of tears again, and Yeji was able to tell the sincerity on behalf of her apology. 

"I already forga—" 

Yeji was interrupted when Ryujin suddenly knelt down in front of her, not minding the people looking at them. But what caught her off guard was that, Ryujin was crying. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If I could bring back the time, I would definitely be a better partner for you. Yeji, I'm really sorry." 

"But we could no longer bring back what happened in the past, Ryujin." Yeji says calmly as she urges Ryujin to stand up. "But what you can do now is to be a better person, so that the person you will love later on would be the happiest person because they have you."

Ryujin had lost count on how many times she had cursed inside her head because of the kindness that Yeji always gives her. How lucky is her partner now because Yeji is the most precious person she ever know. 

"I'm sorry. If only, Yeji, if only...." Ryujin cries even harder. 

Indeed she wanted to be saved from the pain she is feeling, she wanted to be saved from this part of her life. She wants to be saved. 

Yeji leans down, close enough to Ryujin's ear but not too far for her not to hear a whisper. 

"You were also the best thing that happened in my life, Ryujin. And I'm happy to be a part of yours." 

Yeji would be lying if seeing Ryujin cry at her sincerest hurts her. A year and a half might pass, but seeing the person you once loved cry still is painful. 

_This must be it, the reason why I'm on my knees._ Ryujin thought to herself as she finally realizes that everything must come to their very end. 

**_Oh God give me a reason I'm down on bended knee._ **

**Author's Note:**

> ~ All the love from Doc and Charito! Follow us on our writing acc: @DocCharitofics on twitter!
> 
> Follow me on my stantwt/kpoptwt: @potatowsupreme
> 
> Link to my other KPOP works and fanfics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenNoodles/pseuds/charito_/works
> 
> ~ 안녕, 감사합니다 annyeong, gamsahabnida


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